Sages and Saplings Growing Together

I was thrilled at today’s news coverage profiling Elders who are volunteering their knowledge in the classrooms. (Click here to see "Wisdom, Knowledge of Elders Stream Into Area Classrooms.") It is an idea whose time has come. Approximately five years ago in my book Getting Sane Without Going Crazy I suggested the government fund a senior Sage core based on a concept similar to the peace core where wise elders would get paid to help young disadvantaged Saplings in their schools and communities. It is an obvious win-win for all. As our population encompasses a greater number of those over fifty, let’s use them, not lose them to depression, poverty and illness.

A very successful business venture has been combing nursery schools and retirement communities in the same location, often in the same building. Youngsters get wonderful laps to sit on and soothing voices to read to them and elders get an opportunity to touch, be touched, love and give of their many years of experience. Every week, the website http://www.fiftyandfurthrmore.com/ profiles a sage or sage in training as role model of an elder who have lived long enough to teach the rest of us how to do life better. Sages and Saplings. It’s time we helped them grow together.

Over Fifty: Still Working: Job Share

I just read this interesting article in Time Magazine on Job Sharing. Check it out here.

As recently as ten years ago, most people still had the notion of working until a specific cut-off date, usually age 65, then retiring to a life of leisure. Golf course communities proliferated and Madison Avenue sold the idea of a life of leisure, laughter and minimal responsibility. Often moving to these communities required a move to a warmer climate such as Nevada, Florida or Arizona and away from the stability of what was familiar: friends, family and often cherished community. At that time, this vision of retirement seemed a wonderful idea, the ideal reward for a life of caring for others and many years of hard work. Work was portrayed as the necessary means for financial survival (which it usually is), and it was rarely viewed in a context other than something to do, get done and be finished with. So retirement loomed as that great pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

The concept was fine. The reality was quite different. Studies showed that traditionally retired people who were used to being active and involved in their jobs and other activities would on average die seven years earlier than those who kept on working or who stayed active. Depression and illness increased and for many their dream of happily ever after not only didn’t materialize, but they found they missed their old lives. If they were a couple and a spouse died, the one left living not only grieved in a new and unfamiliar surrounding, but they were often thrown into having to develop a new community fast. Most people are resilient and most managed. However, this is not the easiest task for anyone, be they sapling or sage. In fact, if one partner became ill the caretaker would often also get ill and sometimes even die. Paradise, as it was sold, had a few dark corners that no one wanted to look at.

Thus, as Boomers are becoming a majority and 50, 60 and 65 are now considered upper middle age instead of old, new kinds of lifestyles (albeit a bit physically slower) are emerging. Retirement communities now advertise themselves as catering to active lifestyles and in fact most are structured to encompass many different ways of living and physical states of health. However, one of the biggest changes has happened in the work world. Whether it’s for love and/or money, people are working longer. Yet they also may need or want more free time. One truism for Sages is that with advanced years, they often have need for more rest and I encourage more play.

Recently I was talking with a very successful job sharing team consisting of two working moms in their thirties. They had realized they were always stressed and that the 1960s message declared they could have missed the mark. Job sharing was their answer to having about as much of everything that they could ask out of life. They were happier, as were their kids, their husbands and their employers. In fact after balking a bit about their job sharing arrangement, their employers realized that 2 plus 2 part time equaled plus 3. There were no sick days off, vacation time was always covered and both women had the energy to put in that extra effort that is so important to success.

When I mentioned to these women that I had seen this concept work with those who were considering retirement, they let out yelps of “right on.” The concept that job sharing was a perfect solution for those who wanted or needed to work but who couldn’t continue to work full time was a novel idea to them. We agreed that perhaps they might write a “How To” book to help every age, and so they will.

Yes, I know finding a perfect partner for your “day spouse” can be as arduous as actually dating. But if you are so inclined, it is well worth the effort. Everyone gains. Many companies are somewhat schizophrenic in this regard. In spite of laws stating they can’t, ageism exists and firms often discriminate in favor of younger workers. At the same time they bemoan the loss of skilled responsible reliable employees. This is especially so when it comes to artesian and crafts people. Job sharing as we Sage is a win for all. Think about it a realistic option. It just may work for you.

At 65 is Dick Cheney still fit to shoot?

This week’s news included Vice President Cheney taking full responsibility for shooting Harry Whittington. As a psychologist who lives in a world where individuals are expected to take personal responsibility for events such as shooting a friend, I am still puzzled as to why this announcement merited coverage? Baring instability due to drugs, alcohol, physical impairment or temporary insanity, who else could have been responsible? Cheney said, “I’m the guy who pulled the trigger and shot my friend.” Unless the American public wants to believe that elected officials live in a rarified atmosphere where they are not responsible for their own acts, why did we need this announcement in the first place?

Did the VP dump obvious information on willing ears seeking nationwide absolution? What if Whittington had died? Does the public confession make Dick Cheney more human and thus his acts are more easily accepted and forgiven? That is, he's just another guy who made a very understandable mistake? Under the same circumstances, what if it had been you or me? My guess is that legal charges would have ensued. Or, are we confronted with the truth that the very rich and powerful are different from you and me? It seems akin to a popular and loosely accurate definition of “crazy. If one is poor and acts in a bizarre fashion, he or she gets labeled insane, is put on medication and/or is institutionalized. If one has finances and/or power such as Howard Hughes (see the film Aviator) one is merely labeled eccentric. One more time I am reminded that news headlines by themselves rarely tell us much. It’s the unwritten about and too often unexplored meaning behind the headlines that remains of psychological interest to me.

P.S. As an expert about those FiftyandFurthermore, I recommend the VP consider his physical and mental agility. At 65 is he still fit to shoot?