Incest - Vibrant Nation

Incest - Vibrant Nation

Secret Sexy Concerns

Rue, Dear Golden Woman. You were the best kind of sexy broad. Our era doesn't have many more like you. I will miss you. Dr. Dorree

Sex After 50

I’m in my Florida writing “nest” tunneled vision and writing away about Sex after 50. One more time, I am humbled by all there is to learn and all I don’t know after I thought I was a “know it all” expert-sexpert. I’m including a brief paragraph from my notes. You can read more of my thoughts on this endlessly fascinating subject (at least I think it is) on the soon to be relaunched FiftyandFurthermore.com. (Yes, it is really finally happening.) Also watch for my articles on www.vibrantnation.com and in Counselor magazine. And, there are my new video segments on  AARP’s My Generation which is rapidly expanding to local channels near you.

Here’s a thought to ponder:

As we garner years, we all need to blaze our own trail. Few of us are ever really prepared to age.  We all realize if we live long enough, it’s bound to happen “someday,” but not today, and certainly not to us.  Getting older is one of those things we assume we will figure out when we get there, even though we’ve been aging all along.  But for those of us who hit puberty in the sex-soaked 1950s and 60s, aging may seem especially alien now.  Who are our role models for how sexy we can be in our 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond?  Clearly, not the stogy over-50s of our parents’ generation.  And there is another big difference between us and our elders:  People over 50 are living longer now than any group before.  That means many of us will be alive and kicking for many more years past our reproductive primes, and therefore, “doing it” longer than any other generation.  How we continue to remain sexual changes. But can we if we want to? Absolutely. The want to part is crucial. Many over 50’s hang up their sexual selves with age either because they truly no longer care and are simply relieved to no longer have to be “bothered “ by sex. Or their changing hormones have let them down and they aren’t aware that nature’s natural course isn’t necessarily natural at all. Sometimes we can all use a little help from varied friends of all kinds: hormonal, edible, exercise and personal. Desire is both physical and mental. I’ll share more as I continue to write.

FiftyandFurthermore.com Relaunch Coming Soon!

FiftyandFurthermore.com is making a change for you! A brand new version is on
the way. The relaunched site will have more  of Dr. Dorree Lynns presence. Plus,
it will be hip, elegant, easy to navigate, and community oriented.

So, if you are over 50 and still rockin (and we dont mean in a chair), if youve
wised up with time but havent lost your edge, if youre smart, sexy, and savvy
(and sometimes maybe a little confused), Dr. Dorree Lynns new
FiftyandFurthermore.com is for you!

Celebrity psychologist, wise elder, and national sexpert, Dr. Dorree Lynn
created FiftyandFurthermore as your interactive, sexy-after-50 wisdom portal. 
On the new site, Dr. Dorree and her guest writers will continue to offer tons of
juicy tid-bits and meaty information about everything from how to find Mr. (or
Mrs.) Right, to granny erotica, and the latest in spray-on condoms.  Even better,
women of wisdom who still have pulse, now have a place to freely share your
thoughts, anonymously tell your secrets, ask outlandish (and not-so-outlandish)
questions, and discover  along with some great insights  that we really are
precious, sexy, and wise at every age and stage. 

Follow Dr. Dorrees innovative talks and sometimes quirky (not kinky) thoughts
on life, love, sex, relationships, and happiness.  Soon FiftyandFurthermore will
allow you join our community and participate in conversations with each other.

We appreciate your patience during this transition and are very excited to
welcome you to the new FiftyandFurthermore!

Sex Really Can Be Fun

While I’m on the topic of Sin City, did you know that, according to The New York Times, May 29, 2008, people are having more sex but experiencing less joy?  Seems that the glut of explicit sex manuals leaves little to the erotic imagination as they seems more like learning the computer or taking an IT course. If books aren’t enough, there are retreats (usually coed) focused on teaching pleasure, usually to the woman.  Actually seems sexist to me. Why is it assumed that a guy wouldn’t want the same opportunity or doesn’t need the help? Or are really back to the story of O? by Anne Desclos (under the pen name Pauline Reage)? As a sexpert I am committed to reminding participants that it’s the fun of the process that gets you where you want to go. Put down that teaching manual, have some fun and let your imagination flow. Sex is not another task to be added to your list. Sex really can be fun.    

Seniors Between the Sheets

I’ve just returned to DC after presenting at and attending the American Society of Aging conference in Las Vegas. I have tons of new information and things to think about. The biggest blast though, was attending the conference geared to those 50 and over in Sin City America. Walking around the slot machines or the Paris and Bally’s Hotels with 3500 over 50 intellectuals dedicated to teach and learn (and possibly gamble) was a hoot. My own presentation on Seniors Between the Sheets was the only one that dealt directly with sexuality in the second half of life. (It fits right in with my new book on Sex after 50, due Spring 2010.)  Two of the most interesting questions I was asked were: where is the g spot and how does one find it (yes, people still don’t always know) and is it OK to have an a affair if one is a long term caregiver?  (I answered that in my last book on Caregiving.)  For now I’m taking a nap. As a concession to age, red eye flights require rest before I can continue to function well. However, I’ll tell you how I answered these questions and other scintillating, titillating and downright interesting information about this past week in my blogs during the next few days and weeks. I still smile with delight at the paradox of focusing on Aging in America in Sin City.

Sex Trumps Economics

There’s no doubt about it, times are tough.  Instead of letting the recession take a toll on your relationship, the trick is to utilize these economically challenging times to remember qualities that can strengthen your most endearing relationships. Be honest about what you are upset/stressed about, but don’t play the “blame game.”

Five Relationship Building Tips:

COMMUNICATE.   Be open and communicate what is going on financially with each person.  Discuss how much each person is making, what your budget is and where you will cut costs to make up for a lower income or just to increase savings.  Never assume how things should work financially.  People often make assumptions in relationships based on their own family dynamics, which can cause trouble if you are not on the same page.  Always talk about it.

BE THOUGHTFUL.  Some advice: “My boyfriend is a financial planner and I recently learned to check the stock market at the end of the day.  Most importantly, it means a lot to him that I pay attention to the things that are important to him and second, it gives me a heads up on what kind of mood he’ll be in when he gets home!”  The important thing is to be sensitive to each other’s reactions to money and individual stresses about the financial situation.

ACT AS A TEAM.  Do not blame one person or another for making less money or losing their job.  Combine your resources and figure out what works best for both of you.  It’s also important to set goals together.  If you are the major bread winner, make sure your partner doesn’t feel guilty by reassuring him/her that you are a team.  If you make less, help the other person not to feel resentful by making extra contributions in other aspects of your relationship and daily lives. Remember roles can switch in a heartbeat.

SEX HELPS.   At the end of a long day, sex helps.  (Even an afternoon delight-if you can squeeze it in.) It’s been proven that good sex releases “happy hormones.” Therefore, it is a great way for a couple to come together and focus on each other rather than life’s challenges.

NEVER TALK ECONOMICS IN THE BEDROOM.  If you want to experience performance anxiety, just plain anxiety or get into a fight, go ahead and talk money in bed. My advice: Never.!!! Save such conversations for a designated time, with a glass of wine or a cup of tea. But never confuse a discussion about stressful economics with a joyful outcome about thee and me.